At some point, something rather strange has happened to me. I think I’ve become something I never set out to be … a musician. I know, that sounds a little strange. I did, after all, spend over 10 years of my life earning a doctoral degree in music, so of course I became a musician, even if I don’t make a living making music, right? How could someone with a music performance degree say he didn’t set out to become a musician?!?!? Well…… for this to make sense, I have to back up a bit.
When I started studying the saxophone (and music) seriously, I had one goal … to be the best saxophonist I could be. Everything else I did was in some way centered on that goal, either to actually play better, or to position myself to find a way to make a living centered on the saxophone. I studied music history because they made me if I wanted to stay in school; music theory because I thought it might help me get a job; flute and clarinet because… umm… well, because. Even though I was doing all those things, they were on the periphery. My focus was always the saxophone. In short, I had tunnel vision. Although I was going through the motions of a lot of musical activities outside of the saxophone, I didn’t really enjoy it, and I didn’t fully appreciate much music outside of the literature for the saxophone.
Last week, I had the opportunity to play for a Lenten Taize Service. Nothing really out of the ordinary for me at this point to be playing at a church service – it’s pretty much a part of my weekly routine at this point. The Taize music wasn’t new to me, either. We’ve been using several of these as part of the Eucharist for the last couple of years, at least. It wasn’t even strange that I was playing them on flute; I’ve been begrudgingly pulling my flute out for these (and a few other things) from the time it somehow got out that I could play the silly thing. Two things were different — the first is that we were able to recruit a really good violinist to play for these services. The other thing that was different — I caught myself having fun. Fun, playing flute, with violin and organ?!? What? After the initial shock and shame, I realized that this has been going on for a while now. I’ve been enjoying being a choir director, choosing to listen to things like Yo-Yo Ma playing the Bach Cello Suites instead of something on the saxophone. It really has happened … I’m no longer just a saxophonist, I’m a musician.
Where am I going with this? I have no idea (remember the blog is, after all, Random Notes!) Just a thought that’s been going through my head In the meantime, I’m bummed that I have to miss the second Taize service tomorrow, but am looking forward to the third one on April 1st. Who knows, maybe I’ll even practice my flute!
