Had anyone told me when I bought a house and had children just how much of my time and energy (both mental and physical) would be devoted to poo, I would have told them they were, well, full of poo (t0 put it nicely). I sort of hate to digress from the saxophone theme this early in the life of my blog, but life events have dictated otherwise … and they’ve kept me from practicing, too!
To put this in perspective, I have a three-year old boy, recently potty trained, and a 140+ year old house with a septic system of unknown age. My son, bless his heart, is doing great at using his potty, but being the independant little guy he is, he also insists on trying to EMPTY his potty, which until today, we had foolishly moved from the bathroom to his bedroom to avoid any late night/early morning accidents. He loves his little potty — or should I say, he loved it until it mysteriously disappeared after his most recent attempt at emptying it. Need I say more? If you are a parent, you know what I’m talking about.
Now, that little, umm, mess, isn’t what has been keeping me from practicing. The septic system, on the other hand, is an entirely different story. Did you know that, if you have a septic system, you have a “Bio-Mat” lurking beneath your yard? That is just one of the countless new things I have learned about poo. I’ve also learned things like all of those cool enzyme additives that prevent you from having to have your tank pumped also keep your poo in suspension in your septic tank, which then makes its way to your Bio-Mat and clogs it, so then the poo oozes out into your yard. I also didn’t know that fabric softener has microscopic waxy particles that can get suspended with the suspended poo that exisits because in your septic tank because of the expensive enzyme additives that you added and, you guessed it, clog your Bio-Mat.
I’m not quite sure where I’m headed with this, other than to say that all I wanted to do tonight was practice, but instead, I got to read about poo and learn all these interesting facts (I avoided cleaning up today’s three-year old inspired mess only because he did it while I was still at work!) only to figure out that, since my Bio-Mat is now clogged with poo, my bank account won’t have poo left in it once the ground thaws. Next time, I’m sticking to the practicing!
